There is no magic pill for healing. You have to sit with it. You have to let it bleed. You have to protect it. Protect it from well-intentioned medicine that is not for you. Protect it from ‘looky-loos who just want to poke at it to see what it looks like. Protect it from the misery-seeking companies. Protect it from those that fear change. The “let’s bleed together forever.” Refuse. Refuse. Refuse with everything in you. It breeds bitterness that festers in the wound. Protect it from shame from without and within. Surround yourself with words of life. Seek out experiences that stir the desire to live. Seek out people who are driven to live. Seek out joy. Reach for it. You will catch in fleeting moments at first. And then a little more each time. Seek out, love. The kind that can sit with you without dragging you back or forward. The kind that can hold space and be still. Sit with people who speak healing. Read. Listen. Feed your mind and soul-nourishing food. Feel the pain but do not hold on to it. Let it pass through. Keep at it.
 
It’s hard to say when it happens. One day, the sun just hits you differently from an ordinary day. A song plays and you find yourself singing along from the bottom of your heart. You have a funny little thought and you giggle to yourself. One day you notice the old tape doesn’t play relentlessly in your head anymore. It has been replaced by a new one. One that speaks of life and joy and love and sunshine and bubble baths. One that is present in the now and embraces the future. One day you will look in the mirror and see healing. You literally see it. Your eyes are bright again. Your skin is bright again. Your soul is bright again. You covered miles in tiny little steps. Healing snuck in and hugged you while you slept.